Looking back on it now, I don?t know why I did it. Isn?t that often the way? We do something barely consciously and then, when asking ourselves why, we realize we never even made a choice. We just acted. Like an animal. No past. No future. No regrets. No consequences. Just the ever present now, the desires that must be instantly sated, the threats that must be instantly extinguished.
Maybe there was a kernel on consciousness present in the action. A little glimmer of hope, that maybe, just maybe, they might surprise me. That everyone?s expectations were so low, they were going to just pull one out of the bag and say: ?Ah ha! You thought we couldn?t make a good salad! Well you were wrong!?
I was so, so right. What was I thinking? Ragged, grey lettuce. Cherry tomatoes that made a mockery of both words. Thin, translucent carrot slices that revealed a sickly greenish hue when held up to a fluorescent light. The croutons were good but then, croutons aren?t exactly rocket science.
Give it up, Ronald. No-one is fooled. People who care about their weight are already getting sushi at Pret- they aren?t going to walk across the street to get one of your nasty-ass salads just to save one pound. Take a good, long look at your customers. You think we want salad? We want fucking burgers. We want your cheap, fatty, unhealthy burgers.
I?ve got a killer business strategy that will give a shot of madrenaline in the arm of your ever-shrinking profit line. Are you ready? I?m the god-damned magical clown who?s about to save your ass, Ron.
This is a 