hello, ship

A year ago today, I posted what was not technically but spiritually the first post of this blog's existence, in which I discussed the following resolutions:

Get out of London at least once a month. Check! Birmingham, Oslo, California, New Zealand, Amsterdam, Derby, Plymouth, Ashford, Croatia, Cromer, San Diego (again), France

Update this blog thing once a day. Check! Sort of. I generally updated, with very few exceptions, once every weekday.

Spend at least part of my summer in Croatia (this has been a resolution three years running, so it's about due) Check!

Go roller-blading in Barcelona. Fail! Didn't even go this year! Rrrr.

Go to the gym at least four times a week (blading counts as one). Fail!

Never, ever watch TV by myself. Fail!

Never, ever drink on school nights. Except maybe Thursdays. No, not even Thursdays. Oh, okay maybe sometimes on Thursdays. Fail! Sometimes absurdly failed.

Create a short film and submit it to the UpOverDownUnder film festival. Fail! However I'm slightly mollified by the fact that there WAS no UpOverDownUnder film festival this year. That's hardly an excuse.

Finish at least one chapter of The Trusted Professions every month. Check! Okay not technically once a month but I got it done, which was the point.

Play a live gig, with an audience. Check!

So that's 5/10. A pass. I set the bar high, and just managed to clear it. Given myself a little bit of extra credit for the destruct\hour.

So, a good year, really.

Hmm.

Did I mention I hate meta-blogging? That is, making a blog entry all about your own blog. I think I've done it maybe twice since starting, and even then only tangentially to some other topic. And now.

As mentioned I've been going through, as I'm sure we all do at fairly regular cycles, a bit of a blog malaise at the moment. Not really sure why I do it. It's interesting and somewhat gratifying to note that all of my successful resolutions were somehow captured or logged by this journal, which makes me want to continue. I also feel like a lot of my resolutions were a bit banal and unworthy compared to many of the things my fellow two-niners seem to be doing (buying houses and incorporating companies and such).

So it's not really a blog malaise at all. It's a life malaise that's more or less continuous but my awareness of it ebbs and flows based on how distracted I can make myself from it.

I like my job. It's not what I want to be doing and I don't know what is.
I love my friends. I'm desperately, sometimes horribly lonely.
I miss my family and want to go home but don't know what I'd be if I went there. I don't want to go home and I don't know why.
I'm happy. I feel like I haven't progressed in five years.

I just don't know.

So, blogwise, I'm changing the parameters a bit. I'm not posting every day just for the sake of doing so. I think it's a good habit and I don't think anyone should analyze too much the quality or worthiness of any one post (/novel/song/friendship/creative act), lest one analyze it right out of existence, but I would like each post to have substance. This may mean large hiatuses or it may not. I'd like to do a videoblog that's decent and substantive. I'd like to get The Trusted Professions published this month and get underway with the audio version fairly soon. I have a concept for the next novel which I will hopefully have fully refined before next November. I feel energized when I have creative projects and I want to keep as many on the go as possible.

Lifewise, I really should change the parameters a bit. I just don't know what to change them to.

Happy Birthday, blog.