This meme, which I encountered simultaneously on several different blogs, is just too magic-eight-ball-cute not to do. I should caveat that my iTunes at work only has a couple of albums on it, and they all happen to be different to my iTunes at home, oddly.
1. What do you think of me, Random Music Player?
Lighten Up, by The Beastie Boys
Uhm, okay.
2. Will I have a happy life?
Martha's Foolish Ginger, by Tori Amos
"We talked until the moon came up,
about how life without love isn?t worth very much."
True enough. A melancholy, reflective song about looking sadly backwards on the life you've led. Hmm. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but probably a fair assessment, sadly.
3. What do my friends really think of me?
Get Ready, by Concorde Dawn
Hardly conclusive, since the song barely has lyrics. It does contain the line "Ain't no-one like me." which is something of a compliment. And "How many dudes you know flow like this?"
It's a very high-energy song, actually the song I always put on when I'm getting ready for a big night out and want to life my spirits- for some reason I always taste IRNBRU in my mouth when I hear it.
"So put your hands up, `cause I'm about to lift my game up."
That's my motto! Laugh. This is fun.
4. What does my S.O. think of me?
Jenny Was a Friend of Mine, by The Killers
"There ain't no motive for this crime." No, no connection here that I can see, particularly as I have no SO. I think Morrissey's "The woman of my dreams, she....she never came along. The woman of my dreams? Well, there never was one." would have been more appropriate. Dumb iTunes! Pick the right songs!
5. Do people secretly lust after me?
The Collector, by Nine Inch Nails
[specifically ignores the lyrics about being a plague and a swarm and jumps to:]
"And they'll make me stay...they won't let me leave.
There are so goddamn many of them it gets hard to breathe"
Yeah! That's right! I rule! Thanks, Trent! You are most wise, as I've always said.
6. How can I make myself happy?
Electioneering, by Radiohead
"When I go forwards you go backwards
and somewhere we will meet.
Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Wha? Oh Thom, your lyrics are so hard to parse. So just keep going as I'm going, then?
7. What should I do with my life?
Unintended, by Muse
"I?ll be there as soon as I can
But I?m busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before"
Oh, man. I'm in trouble. You just had to pick the most heart-achingly beautiful/sad song in existence for my direction. What are you saying, iTunes? What life did I have before? Make sense, my good sir!
8. Why must life be so full of pain?
All Alone, by Gorillaz
I'm not kidding! This is really what it came up with. Firstly, who's writing these questions? Life is hardly 'full' of pain. Secondly:
"Close your eyes and see,
(when there ain't no light)
all you'll ever be.
Come and save the night,
`cause I don't believe,
when the morning comes: it doesn't seem to say an awful lot to me."
True dat.
9. How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
The Hardest Part, by Coldplay
"I could feel it go down. You left the sweetest taste in my mouth"
I swear I am not making this up.
10. Can you give me some advice?
Such a Twat, by The Streets
"I didn?t want to waste my youth in a girl?s house to the sound of spliffs,
And when she got in a mood with me in that text about that thing
I just switched off the phone when she started shouting,
Coming to a conclusion I couldn?t be bothered with anymore."
Er....all interpretations welcome.
11. What do you think happiness is?
Railway Xing by Grande Cobra
"When I was older well I wanted to be younger,
but now I'm younger well I feel like I'm older.
And I know that may sound confused
But I'm the one with a rich man's shoes Wah-ha!"
Happiness is....unattainable? I dunno.
12. Do you have any advice to give over the next few hours/days?
The Last Song, by the Foo Fighters
"You got to walk the walk, the walk, the walk
To make any ground"
Good advice. I'll get going. Thanks.
13. Will I die happy?
Your Latest Trick, by Dire Straights
"And we're standing outside of this wonderland,
looking so bereaved and so bereft.
Like a Bowery bum when he finally understands:
The bottle's empty and there's nothing left."
Great. Thanks. You've really cheered me up. Asstard.
This is a 
Dammit, I spotted this meme last week but forgot about it...
Oh well.
Hello iTunes, what you got for me....
DIRE STRAIGHTS?!?!
I shall have to reassess my opinion of you Dan.
And it's Dire Straits. You're definitely spending too much time with the Sev.
Hey don't knock Dire Straights.
Money for nothing and chicks for free. Legendary.
Yeah I'd hate to bring down the foundations of my already shaky musical tastes, but Brothers in Arms was the first CD I ever heard and I still find it pretty darned good.
Brothers in Arms is one of the best albums I own, with a title track that is close to my favourite track from anywhere, ever.
Mainly this meme goes to show only how cruel fate (or music software, take your pick) is...
Yeah, that track made it on to my 'saddest music ever' CD.
...it also rocked in that West Wing episode where Barlett swears at God in latin and then stomps out his cigarette on the church floor. What a dude.
okay, i'm sorry QE, but 'brothers in arms is one of the best albums i own' ????????????
from this i can only deduce that you only own three albums, and the other two are 'daniel o'donnell whistles your grandma's favourite wartime classics' and 'songs about jane' by maroon 5.
having said that, i do have to admit to having a bit of a soft spot for 'walk of life'. have i just undermined my own mockery?
Yep, mockery undermined. You love it really...
OK, being slightly more rational, Brothers in Arms is one of my favourite tracks, partly because I associate it with that West Wing sequence that Dan was talking about. The album is one I really like, mainly because it's how I have a copy of that song. While the rest of the album is good in places (generally places other than Walk of Life, which just irritates me), it's not on the same level.
So there you go, it's not the album, it's that song, and it's not even how good that song is, necessarily; it's how much I like the song and the associations I have between that and other things. It's one of the best albums I own, to me; even if you were to own the same combinations of albums it might be the worst of yours.
Looks like I better check out that Daniel O'Donnell disc: that sounds great! :-p