You know,
you can't get a decent Coke anywhere near my office. It's true. Every single single sandwich store, convenience store, off license and snack shop sells this wacky imported brand of Turkish Coca-Cola that tastes utterly foul.
Coca-cola, as everyone knows, tastes slightly different from country to country. I first noticed this when I moved to the States- the Coke they have there is much more sugary, and much less carbonated, than the coke we drink in NZ (if you skull an entire can of Coke in NZ, your eyes will water. Yanks do this all the time with no ill effects). Even though American Coke ostensibly tastes worse than NZ Coke, much like Busweiser I have an emotional, context-based attachment to it and drink it whenever I can.
Turkish Coke, for reasons unknown (although I have my conspiracy theories), tastes like a sad, shitty parody of actual Coke. It's gross. However apparently, EU constitution or no, it's easy to import cheaply, which is why you've no doubt seen it yourself in your local offy (offie? I don't know). The only place you can get real coke around here is from the Sainsbury's local, which always has queues out the door around lunch.
Which leaves me Cokeless and annoyed. What's the point of a sunny day if you can't lie in the park with a refreshing coke?
This is a 
See I reckon where you're going wrong is that Coke is, in fact, the sperm of Satan and every time you drink a cold, refreshing can of Coke you are, in actual fact, sucking Satans' cock.
Cheers for the book btw Danzzzzor, but where do I review it as I am (currently) blogless? I don't suppose Amazon is an acceptable forum? Hey, you made the 'rules'!
(for those readers unfamiliar with the rantings of Mr. Bill Hicks, please disregard the first paragraph)
Er, just review it as a comment in the thread, er, that you got the book from. Then pass it on to someone...like...Pix!