it's whatever you say it is

I'm not an artist. This is despite my best efforts. While I'm sure art is a skill you can improve, I'm equally sure that some people have little bits of their brain that contain artistic sense, and mine is missing. I've tried to draw, honestly, I have, I just can't. If I were to draw a picture of a person for you today it would look roughly as good as a person I tried to draw when I was seven. I wish things were different, but (things being as they are) they aren't. If I was half as good an artist as Doctor Pockless, you can bet that I'd inundate you with my scribblings.

I was wand'ring around the National Gallery in Oslo the other day and, not one room away from Munch's famous The Scream was what appeared to be the work of someone who had dipped their hands into some paint and scrawled them across the canvas. It was the sort of thing at which I was quite excellent age three, and it was being displayed proudly in one of the world's most prestigious art galleries.

I resolved right then and there to buy a canvas and give it a go. Even if it was crap, I reasoned, well, this painting right here is crap, and look how much people like it. I'm giving it to my sister for her birthday, and if she doesn't like it, well, what can I say? I've no artistic skill. Would she criticize a baby for vomiting on her? This is what I do.

I must say it was wonderful fun- if you want an excellent Sunday afternoon, I do highly recommend sitting in bed painting whilst listening to the complete works of Muse from end to end. Yes, I know, painting in bed is a terrible idea, and now I have a set of sheets that looks like an absolute bloodbath, but making a mess is sometimes a lot of fun.

[here's a flash version if the app doesn't load]